Friday, August 30, 2013

Friday Night Fights: Wright - Round 1: Look, Ma! No Hands!

When we last engaged in Friday Night Fights, it was the "Extermination" prize fight where the loser of the round had to either be named after or be an insect. For tonight's first round of the "Wright" bout, I'm flipping things around and this time the winner of my round is named after a bug. And in the interest of fairness, it's a bug-themed character who was overlooked in "Extermination": Ted Kord aka the second Blue Beetle.

Tonight's Kord confrontation comes from Blue Beetle#9 by Len Wein, Paris Cullins, and Dell Barras. Synopsis: Beetle steps in on three muggers terrorizing and old lady, and he's not having it.

That's a big boast! Can Ted do it?

Let's find out, shall we?

Technically, Ted, your hands weren't really TIED behind your back....

....Okay, OKAY, TED! Close enough! I'll let it slide! Just....don't hurt me!

The fight music for tonight's handless hostilities is by Scandal.

Spacebooger could beat those punks with his hands AND feet tied.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Friday Night Fights: Mosquito - Prize Fight: Dennis Farina Style!

Welcome to tonight's Friday Night Fights: Mosquito Prize Fight! Our host Spacebooger has given us one special rule for tonight's fight: It must be a fight scene where the loser is either named after or is an insect/bug.

Ok, how about two losers named after insects/bugs? A husband-and-wife team, no less?

Tonight's insectoid embroglio takes place in the same comic as last week's Vision/Wonder Man fight, namely Avengers#158, written by Jim Shooter, Sal Buscema, and Pablo Marcos. Synopsis: A scientist named Frank Hall working in an isolated research community gains gravity-manipulation powers after an experiment gone wrong. He eventually seizes control of the community, dons a new costume, and rechristens himself Graviton, leading one of the other scientists to secretly summon the Avengers. The Avengers arrive to confront Graviton and....

....promptly get their butts kicked.

In addition to taking out Iron Man and the Scarlet Witch above, Graviton also immobilizes Captain America under his own shield and neutralizes the Vision. Who's left to take him on next?

But before Yellowjacket and Wasp can use their sting powers on Graviton, our weight-changing heavy uses his powers to....

......take a Number Two on our heroes!

Obviously, Graviton was inspired in his graphite usage by the late, great Dennis Farina.

(Warning: NSFW!)

However, as talented as the recently-deceased Mr. Farina was, he never recorded any musical albums, so the task of providing tonight's fight music will be taken up by Pulp.

For more Farina-inspired fracases, click here. And don't forget to vote, or....

...Well, let's just say that Spacebooger also knows his way around a Number 2.

Friday, August 09, 2013

Friday Night Fights: Mosquito - Round 12: Who Was Marvel's Jim Aparo?

For tonight's round of Friday Night Fights: Mosquito, I answer a question that has plagued even noted scholars: Who was Marvel's version of Jim Aparo?

The solution to this vexing conundrum comes courtesy of Avengers#158 written by Jim Shooter, and inked by Pablo Marcos, and penciled by....

Well, I'll let these panels featuring this dramatic showdown between Vision and Wonder Man speak for themselves. Notice the grace and power in these fight scenes.


Warning: One of the more annoying aspects of those early Wonder Man appearances was how writers like Jim Shooter here felt the need to constantly remind the reader that Simon was nearly as strong as Thor. I mean, they flogged that horse to death.

Yes, Simon, you're almost as strong as Thor. WE GET IT!

Sure, you may say, these were all impressive fight moves, but Marvel's Jim Aparo?

Well, my skeptical friends, this next scene will prove it.

Observe what happens when Vision pulls out his signature move.

Wait for it...

Here comes.....

The moment of proof!

Simon hits Vision with such power in that panel that it looks like Vizh's HEAD EXPLODES!

Proof positive that our pal Sal Buscema....

...was Marvel's Jim Aparo!!

From Avengers#158 written by Jim Shooter, and inked by Pablo Marcos, and drawn by the hard-hitting Mr. Buscema.

For tonight's fight music, here's a wonder-ful video by Keane.

For more Aparo-esque altercations, click here. And don't forget to vote!

Friday, August 02, 2013

Friday Night Fights: Mosquito - Round 11: He's Got Legs, And He Knows How To....Oh, You Know!

For tonight's round of Friday Night Fights: Mosquito, we're going to show a little leg.

Actually, a lot of leg.

The mechanical variety.

Courtesy of one of Marvel's classic high-stepping hoodlum, STILT-MAN!!

(What did you guys THINK I meant?)

Anyway, tonight's stilted smackdown comes courtesy of one of Marvel's most fun but also most short-lived 70's comic tenures, the Bill Mantlo/John Byrne run of Champions. In Champions#12, by Mantlo, Byrne, and inker Bob Layton, our long-legged lowlife is fighting Bill Foster aka Black Goliath (it was the 70's, just roll with it), when he also comes face to face with the relatively new Champions, beginning with an opening punch from Hercules.

So he's done for, right? Well, fortunately for ol' Stilty, he's got legs, and he.....

....well, you know the rest!
Bonus: Ghost Rider asks the same question asked by everyone reading the comic:

You're asking US, Johnny?

I know what my fellow Twitterati Robin Cook would say about tonight's round: "Hey, why no LADY Stilt-Man? Also? This fight needs DEATH SCRUNCHIES!"

Now for tonight's music. I have been racking my brain for something ELSE to play BESIDES ZZ Top's "Legs", but I'm completely stuck for another song. So it looks like I'm going to have to play that one after all. *Sigh* Sorry, folks, I've got no choice.

Well, let's just get it over with: Tonight's fight music is....

Wait a minute! I may have a better solution...

 Oh, bless you, Blue Oyster Cult!

For more hell-raising hydraulics, click here. And don't forget to vote!